Monday, August 15, 2011

Just Say No

Today while doing some research for an article that I'm writing I came across a blog post by Michael Hyatt, Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishers, that I wanted to share with you.  The title is 5 Reasons Why You Need to Get Better at Saying No.

Most people who know me offline know that I try to give the best of who I am to people.  I've taken it to such extremes that on occasion I've been accused of being a little too nice by those who are nearest and dearest to me. Along with this, trying to assist others in getting what they want and need on request hasn't worked out well for me at all in my personal life, Christian call to service aside. I tend to be the first-line resource for many within my circle of friends, family, and associates for things that they want and need.  Because the compassion in me won't allow me to say no it leaves me taxed, stressed, and lacking in taking care of my own business.

What bothers me most in this is that I can tell people yes 9 times out of 10, but if on that 10th time I'm forced to say no, there are some who are actually so ungracious as to get irritated--but that's a post for another day.

Over the last few years all of this has come to a head as I've been trying to balance widowhood, working, and carrying out my own personal projects.  I've become a jack of all trades and master of none.  I get everybody else taken care of, they waltz merrily off into the sunset, and I'm left to try to piece together the remnants of my own affairs that have been left undone.

I tell you all this not to complain because I bear part of the responsibility for what's going on by not being honest and just saying no to these requests as appropriate.  On today, though, in the spirit of my new-found resolution to achieve balance in my life I'm making a commitment to myself to make a more judicious use of the word no.  In every situation where I can help someone else without it overtaxing my personal resources and time, "yes" will still hold a fond place in my vocabulary;  in all others, I'll be saying "no."

My prayer is that we all learn to achieve balance in our lives in relation to how we deal with others but do so in a manner that still reflects the love of Christ.

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all   thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.   And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.   On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." -Matthew 22:37-40, KJV
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  1. Its soo gratifying to know that im not the only one that had to learn how to deal with saying no. My compassion for ppl had me saying yes soo much that I put myself in a bind, sometimes getting burned in the end. I'm soo glad GOD intervened and showed me how to say no with love but authority. I figure it this way, He has to tell us no a lot but it doesn't mean that he loves us any less, just means that everything we ask for isn't always what we need!

  2. Thanks for stopping by and for the great comment!

    Yes, saying no doesn't mean that we love any less; it actually means that we love people enough to be honest with them and to set boundaries so that we aren't overtaxed.